Homcudhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous hyena.

Homcudhiv created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homcudhiv, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homcudhiv, it will destroy your favourite star.

Homcudhiv's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Homcudhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

5. Never play with disobedient children.