Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless crow.

Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must pray to Gebquagjin Fetsigzimlarn Kanartbud three times a day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.