Zinzeblun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring newt.

Zinzeblun created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zinzeblun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zinzeblun, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zinzeblun's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zinzeblun's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never mention mice.

4. Never feed grapes to dolphins while wearing magenta boots.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.