Jarnpopgod is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate goblin.

Jarnpopgod created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnpopgod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jarnpopgod, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jarnpopgod's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Jarnpopgod's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Never paint your back magenta.

4. Do not take Jarnpopgod's name in vain.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.