Parklatdoss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, emotional troll.

Parklatdoss created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Parklatdoss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Parklatdoss, it will curse you with boils.

Parklatdoss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Parklatdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not dye your hair magenta.

5. Run away from white manatees, for they are unholy.