Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart snake.

Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tinyik Jatfligdap Fotmissomvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Hide if five horses approach from the north.

5. Never eat spinach.