Tarpbastfen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, narcissistic hare.

Tarpbastfen created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbastfen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarpbastfen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tarpbastfen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tarpbastfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never mention sharks.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never talk about frogs.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.