Nibzodgom is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonourable crab.

Nibzodgom created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibzodgom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nibzodgom, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nibzodgom's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nibzodgom's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never jump near moths.

5. You must never eat aubergines.