Yarttencit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sage newt.

Yarttencit created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarttencit, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarttencit, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yarttencit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yarttencit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise gulls for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Yarttencit's priests.

3. You must love Yarttencit.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never mention aardvarks.