Tomstipdid is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ruthless lizard.

Tomstipdid created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomstipdid, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tomstipdid, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tomstipdid's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tomstipdid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four porpoises approach from the south.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never laugh in the presence of mice.

5. Do not listen to music.