Staffeb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, vain aardvark.

Staffeb created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Staffeb, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Staffeb, it will turn you into a rat.

Staffeb's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Staffeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never jump in the presence of mites.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.