Gunstanyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sage snake.

Gunstanyarl created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunstanyarl, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gunstanyarl, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gunstanyarl's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gunstanyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Always help goats.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about comets.