Bomtabpas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate salamander.

Bomtabpas created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomtabpas, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bomtabpas, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bomtabpas' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bomtabpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Bomtabpas.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.