Quatlunduss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous lobster.

Quatlunduss created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Quatlunduss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quatlunduss, he will send you a sign.

Quatlunduss' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Quatlunduss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away from yellow dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.