Haskarvog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awesome camel.

Haskarvog created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Haskarvog, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Haskarvog, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Haskarvog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Haskarvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Retreat if four voles approach from the east.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the south.