Xingoffabtip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, strong troll.

Xingoffabtip created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xingoffabtip, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xingoffabtip, she will turn you into a plant.

Xingoffabtip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Xingoffabtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away from cyan dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not take Xingoffabtip's name in vain.