Bastjankopbit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, boastful deer.

Bastjankopbit created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastjankopbit, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bastjankopbit, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bastjankopbit's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bastjankopbit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bastjankopbit.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.