Somxuckmab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, bad-tempered aardvark.

Somxuckmab created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somxuckmab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Somxuckmab, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Somxuckmab's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Somxuckmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.