Dumtikgum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humane hummingbird.

Dumtikgum created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumtikgum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dumtikgum, he will turn you into a dog.

Dumtikgum's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dumtikgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumtikgum.

3. Hide if seven gulls approach from the south.

4. Do not kill birds.

5. Never hurt hamsters.