Lipvogbig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sapient hyena.

Lipvogbig created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipvogbig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lipvogbig, he will throw large rocks at you.

Lipvogbig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lipvogbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed peanuts to grasshopers while wearing white scarves.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help capybaras in need.