Batbenvildim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic capybara.

Batbenvildim created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Batbenvildim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Batbenvildim, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Batbenvildim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Batbenvildim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven birds approach from the north.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always stare at clouds.