Jatxenyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering ferret.

Jatxenyatt created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatxenyatt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jatxenyatt, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Jatxenyatt's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jatxenyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must pray to Jatxenyatt six times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat green fruit.