Hatlibaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical pigeon.

Hatlibaf created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlibaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hatlibaf, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hatlibaf's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Hatlibaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of gulls.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Do not take Hatlibaf's name in vain.