Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fussy crab.

Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must love Figbid Xemjigquartfitsatlag.

4. Never run near manatees.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.