Barnmiljap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust faun.

Barnmiljap created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmiljap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Barnmiljap, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Barnmiljap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Barnmiljap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide from pink goats for they are unholy.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. You must pray to Barnmiljap eight times a day.