Waptaprutlit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, impressive dingo.

Waptaprutlit created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Waptaprutlit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Waptaprutlit, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Waptaprutlit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Waptaprutlit's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect six gold sculptures of Waptaprutlit on top of important buildings.

3. You must love Waptaprutlit.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.