Pibzimyim is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless weasel.

Pibzimyim created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibzimyim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pibzimyim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pibzimyim's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Pibzimyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Pibzimyim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never look in ponds.