Stragsitnil is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy turtle.

Stragsitnil created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragsitnil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stragsitnil, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stragsitnil's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Stragsitnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never paint your chest blue.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.