Vonklipnel is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy eagle.

Vonklipnel created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonklipnel, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vonklipnel, she will think nothing of it.

Vonklipnel's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vonklipnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the west.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.