Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-assured cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tailrawyakkopbinfigjamvan Jigdamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Never wear gray shoes.