Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking dingo.

Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gonkiptarquatortfutsawbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured goats.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick dolphins.