Bossvagkap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, annoying hummingbird.

Bossvagkap created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossvagkap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bossvagkap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bossvagkap's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bossvagkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Put Bossvagkap first in all things.