Kemlinsis is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured finch.

Kemlinsis created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlinsis, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kemlinsis, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kemlinsis' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kemlinsis' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never eat bark.

4. You must pray to Kemlinsis six times a day.

5. Always wear mauve.