Vinvonkcap is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful wren.

Vinvonkcap created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinvonkcap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vinvonkcap, he will make you grow a tail.

Vinvonkcap's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Vinvonkcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never sit in the presence of eagles.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.