Bisshabsan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage giraffe.

Bisshabsan created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bisshabsan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bisshabsan, it will turn you into a snail.

Bisshabsan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bisshabsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Never run near nematodes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.