Wiktofflat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless newt.

Wiktofflat created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiktofflat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wiktofflat, it will torture you forever.

Wiktofflat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wiktofflat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wiktofflat.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Retreat if nine snails approach from the west.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Never eat green fruit.