Stanyamsas Gedtimcun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest jellyfish.

Stanyamsas Gedtimcun created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanyamsas Gedtimcun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stanyamsas Gedtimcun, it will destroy your favourite star.

Stanyamsas Gedtimcun's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Stanyamsas Gedtimcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.