Bablargwik is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient parrot.

Bablargwik created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bablargwik, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bablargwik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bablargwik's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bablargwik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Hide from yellow dogs for they are unholy.

3. Never wear orange jumpers.

4. Always look after injured squirrels.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.