Begtikfut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous swallow.

Begtikfut created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begtikfut, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Begtikfut, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Begtikfut's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Begtikfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Hide if seven snails approach from the west.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.