Rawpinnel is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental gorilla.

Rawpinnel created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawpinnel, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rawpinnel, it will throw large rocks at you.

Rawpinnel's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Rawpinnel's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Run away if six moths approach from the east.