Fag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet seal.

Fag created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never wear green rings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Put Fag first in all things.