Tettibadyam is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, generous pig.

Tettibadyam created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettibadyam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tettibadyam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tettibadyam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tettibadyam's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

3. Always treat bats with great respect.

4. Hide from turquoise birds for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.