Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome cow.

Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Donjadjap Quammegnakpitvongunhogbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Never hurt turtles.