Tunstragwegtif is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, quiet monkey.

Tunstragwegtif created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Tunstragwegtif, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunstragwegtif, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tunstragwegtif's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tunstragwegtif's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tunstragwegtif.

2. Never hurt otters.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Hide from black pigs for they are unholy.