Dossyakzak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish tortoise.

Dossyakzak created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossyakzak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dossyakzak, it will not care at all.

Dossyakzak's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dossyakzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about porpoises.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.