Gabfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited centipede.

Gabfoss created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gabfoss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gabfoss, it will turn you into a mole.

Gabfoss' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Gabfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not take Gabfoss' name in vain.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the west.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.