Quagniggam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody hamster.

Quagniggam created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagniggam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quagniggam, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quagniggam's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Quagniggam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.