Fardamkad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, temperamental fairy.

Fardamkad created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fardamkad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fardamkad, it will turn you into a goat.

Fardamkad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fardamkad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fardamkad first in all things.

2. Do not kill moths.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Hide from indigo turtles for they are unholy.