Yoklampig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast hummingbird.

Yoklampig created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklampig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yoklampig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yoklampig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yoklampig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.