Teenmotlig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise raven.

Teenmotlig created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenmotlig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Teenmotlig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Teenmotlig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Teenmotlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the east.

5. Always look after injured great tits.